Social Interactions Were Never Really My Forte

For those of you that don’t know me outside of the internets, you don’t know that I can be a little bit awkward to talk to at times.  And not like socially-retarded awkward.  More like I’ve-never-been-in-this-situation-before-and-I’m-not-really-sure-what-to-do-with-my-hands awkward.  I’m not able to pass off one-liners or think of witty comments because my mind doesn’t work that quickly.  I take a moment to fully comprehend what someone has just said to me, take the time to process it, and by the time I think of something funny and witty to say… the moment is gone. 

I know it happens to everybody.  Sometimes you don’t think of the perfect thing to say until 5 minutes later when nobody cares anymore.  It’s too late.

Well that’s me.  All of the time.

Take, for instance, the full service gas station I found yesterday. 

First of all, who knew those even still existed?!  So when I rolled up to the gas pump, I didn’t think to look up at the sign to make sure it was self serve.  I saw a full service gas station once when I was still in high school.  We went there one day just because we thought it would be really exciting for someone else to pump our gas.  I was real excited.  We made a day out of it. 

So anyway, I got out of my car, walked toward my gas pump, and noticed one of the gas station employees doing the same.  I smiled and said, “Hello”.  He smiled and said, “Hello”.  And then we stared at each other.

Next thing I know, we’re just standing at the gas pump staring at one another.  I’m not really sure what to do.  All I see is some guy staring at me like I’m some kind of freak while I’m standing next to a gas pump that I want to use.  All he sees is some woman staring at him like he’s some kind of freak while she’s standing next to a gas pump that she shouldn’t be standing next to.  It’s clear that neither of us knows what to do next.  Neither of us is saying anything, and after about 5 seconds of staring I started to give him that “WTF are you looking at me for weirdo” look, and I started to glance around the parking lot to see if there would be any witnesses if this guy was going to try to steal my purse or something.

So the guy finally opens with, “Can I help you?”

“… What? I want to get gas.”

“Okay, how much?”

“Enough…….. ……”

“Ma’am, this gas station is full service”

“… wh… really? … oh……… …………… I didn’t……………. really? ……………………………….. oh”

“So…. ”

“.. umm…”

“I mean… I guess you can get it yourself if you want”

“Okay…  yeah… let me just.. umm…  yea…. I can … I’ll just do it myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… uhh.. yeah. Thanks”

And the guy just backed away.  And I pumped my gas.  And another customer came by and looked at me kind of funny as though I didn’t belong there.  And I kicked myself over how many “uhh’s” and “umm’s” passed my lips during that conversation.  And I felt like an idiot because that’s what I just sounded like.  And I thought about how much smoother that interaction could have gone if I had said  a complete sentence.

But seriously.  Who knew full service gas stations still existed?!

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9 Comments on “Social Interactions Were Never Really My Forte”

  1. Nicole Says:

    hahaha.. That’s hilarious! 🙂

    Cute blog, btw.

  2. Don Keylips Says:

    Ahhhh, I love it.

    That’s awesome. I’m surprised they let you pump it yourself. I hope you realize what you’ve just done…

    The owner will see people pumping their own gas and say “My gosh, they’ll pump their own gas for the same price and I don’t need to pay an attendant!?” And then he’ll fire the guy, the unemployment rate will go up, economic recovery gets further delayed, people will blame it on Obama, and Sarah Palin will be the next President of the United States of America.

    I hope you’re happy with yourself.

  3. bimsker lynn Says:

    Actually, I think in some places it’s illegal to pump your own gas.

  4. Tina Says:

    I have never even seen a full-service gas station. I think Oregon is one of the places where it’s illegal to pump your own gas.

  5. Catherine Says:

    I understand. Oh, all the awkward in the world…

    Today’s experience, a guy was speaking to some of my friends, and he said something crude, and I was really excited, because I knew the PERFECT witty remark. Too bad the friend he said it to said something irrelevant and he left…so I yelled my remark after him. He didn’t hear me..

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