Archive for the ‘Growing Up’ category

I Got A New Blog!!

March 10, 2010


Ladies & Gentlemen.  Thank you for joining me today.

It is no secret that I won’t be twenty-two years old forever. It would be awesome if I could though. I’d never wrinkle or gain weight. I could keep my youthful spunk forever!

Well, now I don’t have to worry about turning 23 (besides getting closer to aforementioned wrinkles and decreased metabolism) because my good friend Joel has set me up with a new blog. It has its own website and everything!

I won’t be updating Life at Twenty Two any more and have already moved everything over to the new location. It’s kind of sad to leave because we’ve had some good times here, but alas.. we must move on.

So everyone, please update your favorites and visit me at my new blog, High Heels & Heat Transfer over at

I’ll see you there 🙂


Oh, To be Young and Stupid

February 16, 2010

Sallie Mae posted my monthly payments schedule.  And while I would love to whine and complain about what a soul sucking, money hungry leech she is, I can admit that I did this to myself. 

At the height of this repayment plan, I’ll be shelling out $630 a month for oh.. about.. EIGHT POINT FIVE YEARS. The other 11.5 will be lower monthly payments, but still enough to make me depressed.

Here’s to making stupid financial decisions.

Staying Alive Is Important

February 11, 2010

Right now I am stuck in that “post-graduation” but “pre-real job” limbo.  You know, the one where you’re no longer qualified to be on your parents’ health insurance, but you don’t have a job yet to provide you of your own.  That period of your life where, if you were to get some kind of life-threatening disease or in some terrifying accident, you’d basically be out of luck.  Where you’ve got so many student loans and credit card bills that hospital bills will pretty much destroy your life and make your current debt situation more hopeless than it appears to be right now.

I was on my parents insurance.  They had asked for proof that I was a student prior to my graduation date, so I just assumed I was a-okay. WRONG. I got the notice that I was booted off of the policy today. After I went to the doctor.  And after I dropped off my prescriptions at Walgreens to be filled.  And now said prescriptions are just sitting in Walgreens because they cost over $300 to break out of there.  $300 I’m not really in the mood to pay. $300 my non-existant insurance will not be… insurance-ing.

And so this evening and a little throughout the afternoon, I have been looking through websites trying to figure out what kind of stellar health coverage I can afford. Some health plans start around $80 a month.  Those deductibles are around $10000.  The ones that are around $100 to $120 a month have deductibles around $2000 – $3000.  They don’t really offer much as far as benefits, though.  It’s more, “Go to the doctor when you need to, but have fun paying all $3000 before we even think about kicking in to help you. Sucker”. 

I did just find a few with Medica that do offer what appear to be reasonable, and obviously the more I pay the more I get. I was actually looking to find their “accupuncture and massage” plan, but I can’t find it. I wonder how much that would run me, because I would be there every day.

Although I do have a job, health coverage is not offered, so I’m on my own until another job comes along.  And while I considered just going insurance-less, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. I appreciate going to the dermatoligist for skin problems and having the freedom to visit the dentist once in awhile for nice, clean teeth.  I don’t really want to let those things go.

Health insurance… a luxury that not everybody has.

Don’t Worry Beach Bod… One Day We Will Be Reunited

February 3, 2010

There’s too much snow, there’s too much cold, there are too many clouds, and there’s too much responsibility here in Minnesota.  I’ve got the winter blues, so to make myself feel better I am skipping town on Friday and headed to Waikiki Beach in Hawaii – the place where dreams come true.  And those dreams consist of a fabulous tan and all of the seafood I can eat (or afford).

So while I’m super excited and thinking about this trip literally every moment that my eyes are open, there is one problem:  the absence of what I lovingly refer to as a “beach bod”.  You know what I’m talking about – one of those perfectly toned bodies, with the rippling abs and the bronzey, glowy skin that look AMAZING on the beach.  While I had planned to have mine by April or May (anybody that knows me in real life should be rolling their eyes right now), I didn’t even consider that I would be going somewhere in the beginning of February.  That means that my midsection is still toting around one of those little kid inflatable circle floats with the hole in the middle (I would have said tire, but I’m not that out of shape – THANK YOU JANUARY RESOLUTIONS!). 

When someone that knows nothing about proper fitness and healthy eating (what’s a calorie?) is faced with achieving a “beach bod” in two days, we start freaking out.  So I did what any fitness and health ignorant person does in these situations: ask their smart friends.  All of my friends’ opinions were peppered with words like “sodium” and “merciless workouts” and “cut out the carbs to lose water weight”, so I decided that while their opinions are probably very valid, I didn’t really like any of them.  Carbs are my favorite food group!  Salt is delicious!  Nothing tastes good without butter!  Working out too long is booooring!  As far as I am concerned, I have the following options:

  1. Stop eating all together.  What better way to lose weight than reduce my food intake to zero.
  2. Continue to eat, but reduce my food choices to celery, carefully selected families of lettuce, one granola bar, and chocolate covered raisins because I will never give those up. Ever.
  3. 6 hour workouts every day up until I am sitting on the plane to Hawaii(which hopefully I get on… because if I have to sleep in an airport again, I will go berserk).
  4. New swimsuit – goodbye bikini, hello oversized shirt and shorts.
  5. Avoid the beach at all costs and basically waste my trip to paradise.
  6. Forget about going to Hawaii and go snowboarding instead.  Snowboarding is a workout and allows for some big, puffy clothes.
  7. Flaunt it, baby!

And I considered each of them carefully.

Gosh, I love eating… but I could try to give it up for a few days… but I can’t do try because I only have two days until I’m embarassing myself… Oh! You know… maybe I could commit myself to nonstop workouts… but then I’ll be so tired when I get there that all I will want to do is sleep… and I’ll be sore… and then I can’t force Dan to climb up Diamond Head with me… and I can’t wait because he is going to be so pissed when he finds out that we are taking a trek through nature… why am I dating a guy that doesn’t  like nature?… at least he doesn’t like chocolate covered raisins so then I can eat all of them.. and I don’t really like celery or lettuce so then that diet would only consist of the chocolate covered raisins… and that doesn’t really sound so bad come to think of it… but then I get sick if I eat too many… although if I stayed here I could eat everything and go snowboarding since a little flubber is good for warmth, right?… BUT I HATE THE COLD… jesus… and I already bought a swimsuit so I don’t want to return it… although I guess I don’t really like it so I could return it without crying for too long… but I want to get a tan so wearing a shirt and shorts doesn’t really work for that… unless I wanted one of those sweet farmer’s tans… and I actually really hate those because they take forever to get rid of… my feet still have tan lines from the flip flops I never stop wearing in the summer.. I wonder if my feet with get sunburned?… I remember one time Bim got her feet sunburnt and I laughed at her.. I wonder if she’d do the same to me… she would… especially since I laughed at her when she fell out of a tree that one time… hmm.. I miss Bim.. but anyway there’s no way I would miss out on the beach in Hawaii.. and no way I would go in a shirt and shorts… and no way I would stop eating.. and no way I would eat only chocolate covered raisins… and no way I would work out all day every day… and no way I would avoid the beach.. and no way I would stay here and go snowboarding…

So that leaves me to rock what all of that candy, deep fried food, lack of vegetables, and butter soaked delicious gave me. 

But you know, it’s not so bad.  I am in relatively good shape (in comparison with the 67% of Americans who are overweight as of 2006).  But if Britney Spears happens to be roaming the beach the same time that I am, I will be asking Dan to bury me in the sand.

I’m Still Waiting on that Autograph

January 30, 2010

After the Red Wings game, I had it in my head that I needed an autograph from Zetterberg for my jersey.  Unfortunately I couldn’t get to the hockey game early since I was working, so I planned on catching him after the game.  

I took my time getting out of my seat following the game so that the Red Wings would have their chance to shower and get dressed and whatnot and I could catch them on their way out.  I walked slowly around the Xcel Energy Center, hunting for the locker room exits so that I could “accidentally” run into them as they left to go to their hotel for the night.  I even took a bathroom break to extend the amount of time I was creeping around the Center. 

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find their exits, so I asked an employee what my best bet was to find them.  She told me that she actually didn’t know where the best spot was to catch the hockey players was because they usually leave after she does.  I kind of stood there with a big sad pout on my face, and she told me that, before the game, a lot of the time people will usually stand outside to wait for the visiting hockey team between the Center and the hotel that they usually stay at. 

And that is how I learned where hockey players sleep at night. 

So I mosied on over to their hotel lobby and I asked the hotel desk clerk if the Red Wings were in fact staying in this hotel and if people ever waited here for them.  She told me they weren’t staying there (I think she was lying), and kind of hinted to me that yes, that kind of thing is very much creepy.  Against my will, Dan dragged me out of the hotel and back into the skyway so we could walk home — waiting in a hotel lobby for a hockey team is too creepy for him to handle.  And I was bitter because I thought that by next year I would be too old to stalk a hockey team. 

And that story leads me to my point for this post.  Sometimes I forget that I’m only twenty-two years old.  Sometimes it slips my mind that I’ve still got a couple of years of good, solid youth to do stupid things without feeling the resonating consequences. 

Once in awhile I’ll get caught up in the fact that I don’t have my own little family, my dream job, a business of my own, and a mansion on top of a hill overlooking a city right next to a lake.  Sometimes I think it’s too late for me to go back to school for a Masters degree because I’m too old.  And sometimes…  sometimes… I think I’m failing at life because I don’t own the world.

Newsflash to me:  I’m not too old for anything except riding those little people rides at Disney World.  Real life is still beginning.

And I am certainly not too old to stalk a hockey team.  And I hope that none of said hockey players ever read this because that would just be really embarassing.

The Addiction to Appearance

January 26, 2010

It takes me about an hour to get ready every morning.  My morning routine goes something like this:

  1. Take the dog out to do her business (and in the winter that requires about 5 minutes of putting on/taking off sweatpants, sweatshirts, boots, and coats (one for me, one for the dog))
  2. Take a shower
  3. Put product in my hair and scrunch it until most of the water is out
  4. Blow dry my hair
  5. Moisturize – especially in the winter
  6. Get dressed (it takes me forever to figure out what to wear)
  7. Put on makeup
  8. Scrunch hair again to get rid of any crispy curls
  9. Wander around my apartment to gather everything I need
  10. Mirror check to fix anything that doesn’t look quite right
  11. Leave

And this morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I was thinking about all of that time I spend in the bathroom getting ready for my day.  One hour a day.  That’s seven hours a week.  That’s about 28 hours a month (already more than an entire day gone!)  Three hundred thirty-six hours a year – or fourteen days – or two entire weeks.  Wow.  If I lived for 60 more years, over two of those years will be spent in the bathroom drying my hair, putting on makeup, and getting dressed.  It will take me over two years to get ready for the other 58 years of my life.  That, my friends, is a lot of time.

And while I would like to sit here and announce to you that I am changing my ways and vowing to never spend an entire hour in the bathroom ever again, I am not able to.  I can’t say that I won’t spend ten minutes trying to get my hair just right.  I know I will never be able to choose the perfect outfit on the first try every day for three days, let alone a week.  With all of these lipstick colors, I can’t guarantee that the first one I choose will be complimentary to my skin tone and the colors that I am wearing.  And even though I know that I am wasting an entire hour of my day just getting ready to go shopping or putz around the apartment, I don’t necessarily want to change that.

When I look good, I feel good.  I’m more productive with my time.  I’m more sociable.  I’m friendlier.  I feel smarter.  A lot of the time, my happiness is directly affected by my outward appearance.  And when I am unhappy with myself or the way that my life is going, I cheer myself up in the beauty aisles at Walgreens.  I buy makeup, lotions, conditioners, and any beauty supply that I can get my hands on and believe that I might need one day.  If you were to open up the cabinet beneath my bathroom sink, you would see the results of these splurges fall out onto the floor because the cabinet can barely contain them.

So where did this need for beauty in a bottle come from?  Today’s magazines, newspapers, and blogs emphasize the importance of natural beauty.  Magazine covers are being chastised for photoshopping their covers – I even posted a video showing how our definition of beauty is the direct result of these maneuvers.  Newer, more natural models are making their debut in advertisements.  And yet here I am, feeling the need to perfect the way that I look before leaving my apartment just to take my dog on a walk.  Why is that?

And the funny thing is that you can tell how I am feeling about myself that day by seeing the amount of makeup caked onto my face.  Typically I am on the lighter side, but sometimes (when I’m feeling depressed or unhappy) it’s as if you can’t see a hint of real skin underneath all of that foundation.  And although I know that wearing all of that makeup is unnatural, I can’t help myself.  To take it off would leave me unhappier than with it on.  Because the thing is, no matter what is going on around me or what kind of situation I find myself in, I can at least control the way that I look.  Because to look beautiful in a crappy world, even if that beauty is artificial, is better than facing it looking hum-drum.

Perhaps the saddest part of this is that I know I am not the only woman in the world with this complex.  There are millions of us that choose to drop hundreds of dollars on beauty products that we will only use once.  Others might choose to physically harm themselves.  Others might starve themselves to achieve that perfect weight.  Others might stay in abusive relationships.  On second thought, maybe I should consider myself lucky that this is my addiction because, lets face it, it could be far worse.

Lately I have found myself a little more confident with my “natural” face since I have sworn one day a week to not using anything at all, but I still feel stares.  I still feel less respected.  I still feel like other people have decided that I am not worth their time.  And on days when I am feeling low, my usual “head up” posture turns into a slumped back with my eyes to the ground.  And of course it’s foolish and of course it’s nonsense, but it is something that I struggle with anyway. 

I would like to think that we all have our own comfort blankets that we cling to.  It helps me to know that everybody needs to fit a certain mold when they are feeling down so that they can feel better about themselves.  It could be anything — dressing great, laughing a little louder to make up for it, or feeling the need to prove yourself through your ideas.  You know… something that gives status so that we know we’re not just dirt on the ground. 

Is anybody willing to share with me theirs?

I Don’t Know Where I’m Headed, But I’ll Know It When I Get There

January 22, 2010

Today, my desk-neighbor Erick had a question for me.  “So what are your big plans?” he asked.  “Are you staying here?  Are you looking elsewhere?  Where is Ms. Heather headed?”

I gave a little smile because I had been anticipating this question.  It has been on my mind a lot lately, and I am sure that many of my posts reflect that.  “Well..” I replied.  “I want to do something to help humanity, so I am looking for work that will help me down that path.” 

Erick’s response was something along the lines of, “You will grow out of that.  I used to want to do that, too.”

Personally, I have a lot of trouble understanding why I need to grow out of anything.  Since when is grow out synonymous with grow up?