I Really Shouldn’t Be Writing This Right Now.

Posted February 27, 2010 by Heather
Categories: Uncategorized

I realize I have been seriously neglecting my blog lately, which I am kind of disappointed about. I’ve been working with my good friend Joel to get a new blog setup, which I am SUPER excited about. And right now I’m in Biloxi, Mississippi on my parents couch. I visited for the weekend and I am headed home tomorrow.

I wish I had something awesome to tell you. Like I won millions at the casino. I actually won $100 from a slot machine, but then I lost all of it. Ugh.

I have to get up in about 3 hours, so I should probably stop phone-typing my love letter here and get to sleep. Maybe I will write from the plane tomorrow.

Hugs, Kisses, & Rainbows,


Practice Makes Perfect

Posted February 24, 2010 by Heather
Categories: Artsy Things, Posts With Pictures

Tags: , , ,

I came into work this morning hoping I would get to scan some of the work I did in calligraphy class yesterday.  Unfortunately, the printing/copying/scanning machine is totally shot, so I took a picture of it with my phone instead.

You don’t really get as much detail through the picture as you would have if I had scanned it, but that’s okay.  You get the gist of it.

I’m pretty proud of myself – it’s not too bad for only using a pen and ink for a week.  I would have shown you what I was able to accomplish during the first class, but it was mostly just a sheet of paper that had ink smeared all over it.  My hand had a lot of ink on it, too.  Then I discovered that I should have an EXTRA sheet of paper to get rid of excess ink.  DUH. 

But if it makes you feel any better, “Max plays jazz sax” was the first real sentence I ever wrote.

My teacher thinks I’m pretty good (and my mom tells me I’m special), and what I really need to work on is consistency.  Once in awhile, my letters look pretty good.  Once in awhile, the spacing between letters and words is right.  Once in awhile, my letters have the correct slant to them.  Once in awhile I hold my pen at 45 degrees.  So I just need to correct that to become all of the time.  No biggie.

I also need more patience.  We draw the letters instead of write, so each letter is created very slooooowwwwwllyyyyyyyy.  By the last sentence, I was getting really agitated and trying to rush through it.  Maybe this calligraphy thing will help me out.

But for now – practice makes perfect!

Inappropriate Search Terms

Posted February 18, 2010 by Heather
Categories: WTF

Tags: ,

Somebody found my blog today by typing “pouting anus pics hd tan beach” into a search engine.

I can’t begin to tell you how uncomfortable that makes me.  And I don’t think I ever had the words “pouting” or “anus” anywhere in this blog… until now… so by posting this, I’m probably opening up some kind of weird, twisted can of worms.

Dan and I are thinking the same thing right now.

Who types stuff like that in!??!?



 I just put that into google to see what other hits it could get, and since I put that search term directly into this post, my blog was the first thing to show up.  Now I feel dirty.

I might delete this if I feel too gross as a result.  We’ll see if I can still sleep tonight.

Social Interactions Were Never Really My Forte

Posted February 17, 2010 by Heather
Categories: I Never Win

Tags: , ,

For those of you that don’t know me outside of the internets, you don’t know that I can be a little bit awkward to talk to at times.  And not like socially-retarded awkward.  More like I’ve-never-been-in-this-situation-before-and-I’m-not-really-sure-what-to-do-with-my-hands awkward.  I’m not able to pass off one-liners or think of witty comments because my mind doesn’t work that quickly.  I take a moment to fully comprehend what someone has just said to me, take the time to process it, and by the time I think of something funny and witty to say… the moment is gone. 

I know it happens to everybody.  Sometimes you don’t think of the perfect thing to say until 5 minutes later when nobody cares anymore.  It’s too late.

Well that’s me.  All of the time.

Take, for instance, the full service gas station I found yesterday. 

First of all, who knew those even still existed?!  So when I rolled up to the gas pump, I didn’t think to look up at the sign to make sure it was self serve.  I saw a full service gas station once when I was still in high school.  We went there one day just because we thought it would be really exciting for someone else to pump our gas.  I was real excited.  We made a day out of it. 

So anyway, I got out of my car, walked toward my gas pump, and noticed one of the gas station employees doing the same.  I smiled and said, “Hello”.  He smiled and said, “Hello”.  And then we stared at each other.

Next thing I know, we’re just standing at the gas pump staring at one another.  I’m not really sure what to do.  All I see is some guy staring at me like I’m some kind of freak while I’m standing next to a gas pump that I want to use.  All he sees is some woman staring at him like he’s some kind of freak while she’s standing next to a gas pump that she shouldn’t be standing next to.  It’s clear that neither of us knows what to do next.  Neither of us is saying anything, and after about 5 seconds of staring I started to give him that “WTF are you looking at me for weirdo” look, and I started to glance around the parking lot to see if there would be any witnesses if this guy was going to try to steal my purse or something.

So the guy finally opens with, “Can I help you?”

“… What? I want to get gas.”

“Okay, how much?”

“Enough…….. ……”

“Ma’am, this gas station is full service”

“… wh… really? … oh……… …………… I didn’t……………. really? ……………………………….. oh”

“So…. ”

“.. umm…”

“I mean… I guess you can get it yourself if you want”

“Okay…  yeah… let me just.. umm…  yea…. I can … I’ll just do it myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah… uhh.. yeah. Thanks”

And the guy just backed away.  And I pumped my gas.  And another customer came by and looked at me kind of funny as though I didn’t belong there.  And I kicked myself over how many “uhh’s” and “umm’s” passed my lips during that conversation.  And I felt like an idiot because that’s what I just sounded like.  And I thought about how much smoother that interaction could have gone if I had said  a complete sentence.

But seriously.  Who knew full service gas stations still existed?!

Oh, To be Young and Stupid

Posted February 16, 2010 by Heather
Categories: Growing Up, Money

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Sallie Mae posted my monthly payments schedule.  And while I would love to whine and complain about what a soul sucking, money hungry leech she is, I can admit that I did this to myself. 

At the height of this repayment plan, I’ll be shelling out $630 a month for oh.. about.. EIGHT POINT FIVE YEARS. The other 11.5 will be lower monthly payments, but still enough to make me depressed.

Here’s to making stupid financial decisions.

My Dog Can Behave Itself. Why Can’t Yours?

Posted February 15, 2010 by Heather
Categories: I Never Win, Pets and Animals, Youtube Videos

Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’ve tried to steer clear from ranting and raving on this blog. It hasn’t really been a conscious effort on my part, there have just been other people that I have been able to talk to before drafting anything to share.  Today there is no such luck. I have no one to complain to right now, and I really need to complain.

I took Prandtl to our local dog park today because if I don’t let her run outside once in awhile, she’ll take it out on my studio apartment.  She’ll run into walls, run into me, and tackle my poor 12 year old cat, Lucy.  She’ll bark at anything that moves.  She’ll bounce around until I pay attention to her… and then she’ll bounce around at me.  And if I don’t pay attention to her when she’s in these squirrely moods, she’ll run up behind me full speed, take a big leap that puts her head shoulder level, and nip at a bit of my shirt as she flies by.  In a nutshell, she is annoying unless she gets enough exercise.  And I’m sure that’s true with any dog — I just happen to have one of those “high energy” types.

Anytime we’re outdoors (or indoors when she’s not amped up on excess energy), she behaves perfectly.  Her recall is fantastic, and she’ll stop on a dime if I call her to come back to me.  If she’s playing chase with another dog and she runs too far away, she will stop in the middle of the game if I call her.  The best part is she typically won’t wander too far away from me in the first place.  I don’t have to keep an eye on her because she keeps an eye on me. 

And let me make this very clear: It Took Training To Get Her That Way.

So today when I took Prandtl to the dog park to play, she found a poodle to run around with.  They played chase for awhile, and then a pitbull joined in the fun.  At this point I got a little uncomfortable because my dog is usually the fastest and therefore the one being chased, and because she’s so small the bigger dogs (like the pitbull and poodle) tend to run her over.  But her tail was still wagging and she still had a stupid, happy look on her face so I let it go.

Fast forward to a few minutes later, and the pitbull and poodle are barking directly into her face and nipping at her.  They’re running around her like they’re going to attack her or something, and when she tries to run away they chase her, trample her, and bite at her.  Prandtl tries to sit on the ground to tell them she doesn’t want to play, but they bark and nip.  And every dog is baring their teeth and poor Prandtl is letting out little high pitched barks and doing her best to defend herself because she’s not much of a fighter. 

When it comes to dogs playing too rough, I do my best to get Prandtl out of the situation.  I will walk away from the owners of the dogs, call her over, and the other dogs’ respective owners will do the same.  All of the dogs will be seperated, and everyone is happy.  But today’s dogs were not well trained and did not listen to their owners, so suddenly there were two dogs that were getting more and more aggressive towards mine, and all kinds of people yelling out names that weren’t really having any kind of effect.  I would call Prandtl’s name, but that would cause her to run for me which would just make things worse – she was just chased, trampled, and bitten some more. 

Prandtl somehow got to me, and I grabbed her collar and sat her down.  The other owners came running over to grab their dogs, but they couldn’t grab a hold of them so I just kind of sat there… hoping to God I wouldn’t get bitten… while nobody else could get control over their animals.  And while I admit that putting my hand on Prandtl’s collar was probably a stupid move from a safety standpoint, I didn’t know what else to do.  Nobody else seemed to be doing anything.

Anyway, this whole situation probably lasted about 5 minutes.  We seperated our dogs and went to different parts of the dog park.  Prandtl and I ended up running into the poodle again, and they played fine for awhile.  I was hoping that it was the pitbull that escalated the first “situation”, but next thing I know the poodle is harassing my dog again.  Since it was only one dog instead of two this time and I was already very cautious regarding that dog, I got that situation under control very quickly, but the woman still couldn’t get her dog to listen or get it onto a leash.  And so I put Prandtl on her leash and left the dog park because I didn’t want to deal with another poorly trained dog.  Then we went home.

I was okay with the dogs picking on Prandtl.  It happens, they are dogs, and I expect it to occur once in awhile at a dog park.  But what drives me crazy is when people bring dogs to the dog park that they don’t have under control.  Every dog park in this area has a requirement stating that dogs must have a reliable recall, and it’s for reasons like this.  This whole thing could have been avoided very easily, but instead I almost got my arm bit off by a pitbull.

The part that really has me fuming is that I have put in the time to have a well behaved dog.  Prandtl did nothing wrong at the dog park and she did exactly as I told her.  She came when I called her and sat when I told her to sit.  And yet we were the ones that had to leave.  I basically punished my dog for being obedient while the other dogs are being rewarded for disobedience.  It’s a terrible cycle that I don’t really know how to stop.  I need to take care of my dog, and letting her stay there in a potentially dangerous situation is not taking care of her.  I certainly told the woman that she should think about not returning to a dog park with a dog that isn’t under her control, but she just gave me some “She’s usually not like this” excuse.  And I wanted to slap her.

Anyway, sorry for this long, frantically written post. 

But the worst part is that even if I were to go to a different dog park, people still bring disobedient dogs.  There’s not much else I can do outside of buying a house with a huge yard for Prandtl to play in… but I don’t really have $100,000 laying around.

**Imagine all of that running… inside… constantly

Valentine’s Day Is Overrated

Posted February 14, 2010 by Heather
Categories: Young Love

Tags: , , ,

In my eyes, Valentine’s Day is overrated.

And it’s not that I don’t appreciate flowers, chocolates, or affection — I am a woman, afterall.  And it’s not that I am one of those people that whines about it with the standard “Why do you need a special day to love your partner” argument.  I personally think it’s great that one day a year we celebrate the fact that people are in love.  But I’m just not that into it.

When it’s my first Valentine’s Day with someone new, I am thrilled.  I go all out with special gifts and plans and fancy dinners.  But since Dan and I have been together for almost two years and have been living together for almost a year, there’s nothing that exciting about spending the evening going to the movies and dinner.  I mean, we do it all of the time!  And while it’s nice to get flowers, they’re kind of the go-to gift for every other holiday and birthday.  Plus, why should I get excited to spend my February 14th evening crammed into a movie theatre with a bunch of tweens and teenagers trying to say “smart” things to impress one another.  And going out to eat isn’t really anything special any more since we do it all of the time (although we did go out for sushi tonight… yum!)

I know I sound like a bitter old woman right now.  I have been dating Dan for less than two years and already I’m losing interest in major lovey-dovey holidays. 

Anyway, I gave Dan an electric shaver for Valentine’s Day.  He loves it.  We are nothing if not practical.